smallershellee

Where to start, I’ve been around but my brother has been in ICU for a week and in the hospital for almost a month. He has been sick for years even though he is only 33. We have had countless stays in more than 7 hospitals, but this time is different they don’t expect him to make it. And I’m mad and hurt mostly because he did this to his self. He has an odd condition that makes his organ older than they are. They told him years ago to stop drinking and he just never could. Now his liver and kidney failed he is on life support and in a coma and I know the way I feel is wrong. Don’t get me wrong I love my brother very much but a part of me is pissed because he was so selfish that he never thought about who he was leaving behind. My mother, me and my kids. He has never been married nor had kids of his own. I begged him to stop drinking and he just wouldn’t. I can’t help but see his addiction in myself not drinking mind you but with eating. It’s an addiction all the same. So I ask myself questions am I selfish I am slowly killing myself or I was. Each greasy cheesy burger taking minutes away from my loved ones. It makes me look at heath in a new way. Anyways please pray for my brother you who believe in praying. I want to believe he will make it out of there and this will be the last straw for him.

last night my hair dresser posted on facebook wanting to know what people was doing to lose weight. I told her I had lost 95bls and how. I told her to look on my page at my pics because iv only been going to her for the last year she had no idea that i was ever 270 bls. she posted a comment on my pic that said WOW WOW WOW so I looked though them. It had been a while since i have seen them and I started to cry. in those pictures I can see such a difference that i dont see everyday that I look at myself. it is truly amazing at the difference in myself. 95bls gone that is something only a handfull of people ever truly do but millions wish that they could. I am so proud of myself and love the new me. this am as i was getting ready for work I put on my 13 year old (tomorrow is her b day) sweater and it fit. I was like OMG thank you god for the will power and thank you buddyslim for everyone of you who tell me to keep going.

I know i havent posted in a while, mostly due to the fact that i now work in front of a pc and dont wanta touch mine once i get home, much. I havent been working out as much as I should but i plan on jumping back into it when the kids go back to school. I have 30 days till my b day and i would like to be at 170 by my birthday. I know I can do it just gotta keep up the good work. I hope that you all had a great christmas and a happy new year

OVERWEIGHT thats right Im over weight and so dang excited about it to. At 179 my BMI tracker says im overweight no long obese, did you hear that sweet music to my ears. On my way to a long healthy life. Plus I got out of the 180’s and thats great.

yes i used this title from another blog because I think its a good one. Things I wish for in December is to eat for the hoildays without gaining. I have spent the last two weeks relosing what I gained though thanksgiving. as I look back on that its time wasted I could of been 8bls lighter by now. ok maybe not 8 but some. But there is not use in beating myself up I just need to learn my lession and that you dont eat the whole week of the hoilday lol. but i would like to lose 5 bls this month I dont think thats two much.. this week I change my hours at my job but i still have to take my daughter to school but i just have to stay with it. hope you guys are having a good day

baby? what baby she will soon be 13 years old and has the body of a 20 year old. today my husband handed me some money said he would keep the 3 boys and put up christmas lights and for us to go shopping and get our nails done. WHAT? have I hit my head you want me to what. Then he goes into the store for a few things and comes out with a rose two weeks in a row. on the diet note i had a good day went to breakfest at dennys i did good with a healthy choice and again for lunch and dinner, hoping for a good morning tomorrow and a fun day getting our christmas pictures made and my best friend is coming over to hang out.

I havent posted in a few I gained over the hoilday but i half expected to after all I did eat all week and not just thursday but im back at it this week with eating right monday and tuesday with 30 minutes of working out each day. Its so odd when you know your on that slipper slop and your eating bad its hard to stop. and i have to remind myself that this is about health and i always feel bad after i know i have had something i shouldn’t jut like you do im sure. I say to myself why and the hell did I do that you just ate more cals then you should in most of the day but there i no taking it back just moving on. have a great day.

why do everytime i get so close to my goal of 100 bls I get in this mind set its ok to cheat. Oh its the hoildays why not Ill start monday. seems like i do great while im alone in the morning and for lunch and then when I get home all bets are off. I want this to go away because i know this is how i regain so easy then spend another six months getting back down again anyways happy hoildays all

WOW, I can’t beleive I have lost 90 it have been a long long road with days of wanting to quit to days of joy and tears but so worth it. I wish I knew the right amount of years I have added to my life. My goal now is 100bls It is awesome feeling. I hope you all have a great weekend. I know many of us will have family get togethers this weekend and next week with loads of food. rememeber dont say no to what you really want just pick a few things that you want the most.

well i got on the scale this am and it was the same not sure how i feel about that just yet. I know I should be happy but i seem to be at a stand still. i want to lost 20 more pounds or so and im just stuck. maybe ill break though next week